The Storm

The storm was here to stay,

The dark clouds covered my world,

The lightening flashed and the thunder roared,

And the rain chilled my body to the bone.

The storm had been raging for eternity,

Never wavering in its intensity,

Days seemed like years,

And months dragged into centuries.

The intensity of the storm grew slowly,

And my depression grew along with it,

I thought that this was the way it was supposed to be,

My essence diffusing into the void.

A weak beam of light fell upon me,

I looked up in amazement and smiled,

The light warmed my face and gave me hope,

Then suddenly faded along with my dreams.

Centuries passed and I withdrew into myself,

Never did I believe that the storm would end,

A flicker of candlelight in my heart was the only thing left,

A hardened puddle of wax surrounding a burning stump.

A searing shaft of light landed on my back,

And the heat penetrated my foggy brain,

The warmth renewed my strength and resolve,

And the candle flared into a super nova.

I tilted my face into the light,

And drank in the light with an intensity,

As I slowly opened my eyes I beheld an amazing sight,

The rain had stopped and the cloud were dissipating.

I tried to sit up and stretch but the pain was too intense,

My eternity in the fetal position had cramped my muscles,

And I knew it would take a while to rise,

But the fear of loosing the light let me absorb the pain.

To my amazement the light grew stronger,

And time slowed down again to a pace long forgotten,

With every moment my heart grew lighter,

Until I was finally standing with my arms outstretched to the light.

So I just stood there and let it wash over me,

Trying to get the courage to take that final step,

If only it were as easy as a thought,

If only . . .

My joy knew no bounds,

And I almost reached out to clasp the light,

But something deep down inside me stopped my hand,

And DOUBT swirled around me, laughing in my face.

So now I stand gazing into the blinding light,

And I am constantly wondering about the outcome,

But at least, for now, I feel warmth and hope,

Even though indecision has chains wrapped around my heart,

Chains that are so incredibly hard to break.

Conan Tigard

April 1991